Etiquette

Face
Chinese etiquette is summed up in the concept of ‘face:’ people are focused on wanting to show a good face; giving face to others; and avoiding losing or taking face. Etiquette provides formulaic ways of achieving this. Positively, face encourages people to be honourable, composed, wise, respectful, cautious and generous; negatively, face places form above substance and is concerned only with keeping up appearances, whatever the reality.

Peace and harmony are the great social virtues in China. These are preserved by formalizing relationships and avoiding direct conflict. You should therefore be:

Composed
Don’t lose your temper or gesticulate when you talk. Dress conservatively. In order not to appear greedy, people will often refuse offers of refreshment or gifts 2 or 3 times before accepting. To avoid embarrassment, gifts are not usually opened in public. Since wise decisions are only made after thoughtful consideration, audiences tend to be passive and you should neither feel uncomfortable with pauses nor expect an immediate response.

Non-Confrontational
Chinese people are used to less personal space but they generally avoid direct eye contact or touch beyond a light hand-shake. They do not discuss potentially sensitive issues (like politics or sexual innuendo), are not openly critical, and don’t impose deadlines. Negotiations are often done through a third party and Chinese people will rarely say ‘No’ - instead they will say ‘Yes, but it will be difficult;’ give a vague or ambiguous reply; or tell you what they think you want to hear in the hope that you won’t pursue it. True intentions are only determined by persistence. You should therefore not read too much into either positive or negative intimations. Keep asking!

Respectful
Groups of people should be greeted and sat in descending order of seniority, and titles (with or without surnames) should be used rather than given names. Taking business cards with both hands, studying them and placing them neatly on the table in front of you or in a case are all ways of respectfully acknowledging a person’s status.

Reciprocal
Toasts, compliments and gifts are all normal parts of relationship building and should be reciprocated. As a general rule, follow your hosts example; if you are the host, you should initiate so that others may follow.